#19 FULL THROTTLE
ON AN EMPTY TANK
(Country)
The poster said "Be All You Can Be."
I signed up to wear their stupid clothes.
Guess I thought things might be different,
But that big dumb place was not for me.
Began lifting things from the PX,
Snuck a friend in the barracks for some quick sex.
And when they kicked me out in no time,
I started a large run of small crimes.
My third PO looked at my file said:
"You wanna know your problem? I'll be frank."
"You run fast and angry, too smart for your own good."
"Full throttle on an empty tank."
The trouble started before the army,
Good in school, but most times I couldn't sit still.
And just wouldn't play well with others,
Age ten went and lifted a car key.
Sweet 280Z, of course I wrecked,
The world saw wrong choices, I saw correct.
My best way forward? Cut that corner,
The hot seat was just getting warmer.
As the years went by, time and again,
From the wrong damn Kool-Aid I always drank.
Staying fast and angry, too smart for my own good.
Full throttle on an empty tank.
Robbing liquor stores with a girl named Riot,
Now that's six hard miles the other side of quiet.
Snatching porch packages, unwatched phones,
The bad part less money, the good less unknowns.
Thinking about trying to clone credit cards.
Gotta keep it easy and steer around hard.
Boy, if I ever figure out the internet,
Could slice off a bunch of new corners, you bet.
Then that PO asked me: "Why not change your ways?"
Remembering and planning? Not me.
Forget the future and the past, gimme now.
You go live in weeks and years, I'm just days.
I know what happens when I cross that line,
My next time caught, more than likely major time.
Get busy living or get busy dying.
Not much of a life, but at least it's all mine.
Tried for swimming without sinking,
No surprise with me, less swum and more sank.
Living fast and angry, too smart for my own good.
Full throttle on an empty tank.
Me going all in with the wrong cards,
Well buddy, you can take that to the bank.
Always fast and angry, too smart for my own good.
Full throttle on an empty tank.
Forever fast and angry,
keep walking the same damn plank,
I'll never change right through to when I step off,
full throttle on an empty tank.
#18 ME AND YOU AND ME
(Country)
You say I'm half-hearted,
I say I'm free-wheeling.
You say I've not started,
I say got reasons for concealing.
You say I hurt your feelings,
Because I won't go all in.
I say I can start revealing,
But now your leaving might begin.
You see, "all in" with me is
Not what you'll typically see.
There's a third man on the team.
Me and you... AND ME.
The two of me's plus you,
So that's the best I can do.
Me and you... AND ME.
It's not like I misled or lied
We all have battles inside.
Between our best and worst,
It doesn't mean we're cursed.
But within me it somehow worsened,
I was joined by an extra person.
Getting good care and meds for my trouble,
Just afraid you'd never choose dating double.
Before we continue with the song, I just want to point out that someone with Dissociative Identity Disorder can be serious about their treatment and recovery and still take time to sing a silly song about how lucky they are to find somebody strong enough to love all of them. Now where was I... oh, yeah the good news!
You say it's worth sour and sweet,
To share a life with all parts of me.
I say life with me will be no treat,
But at your side I most want to be.
You say our life with both me's,
Can be better than what came before.
I say that the me's can now see,
Maybe more me's might maybe mean more.
Us all now together, well it's,
Truly something to see.
Three sides to the two-some.
Me and you... AND ME.
The two of me's plus you,
I believe we can make it through,
'Cause we got the very best crew.
Me and you... AND ME.
The two of me's plus you,
I know we're gonna make it through,
Cause we got the very best crew.
Me and you... AND ME.
#17 YOU NEVER TOLD ME WHY
(Pop)
Four Eleven Larchmont: sign says
one bedroom, scan for price.
If you go online, I'm sure the
listing's really nice.
High ceilings, brass fixtures,
hardwood polished to a gleam,
Roomy, bright and charming...
and the ruins of a dream.
Andy when you were mine,
you were both kind and gentle,
It felt like home inside
our bright, charming rental.
But I slowly discovered
poison that was hidden.
Not in what you chose to say,
but what you didn't.
The reason we slid downward,
From perfect to good-bye?
You always said "I need you,"
But you never told me why.
You smiled, revealed some feelings,
Not saying they weren't real things,
But looking back it still stings,
That you never told me why.
The answers I was needing,
I could no longer deny
You always said "I miss you,"
But you never told me why.
Drew near and spoke your feelings,
I'm sure that they were real things,
But looking back it still stings,
That you never told me why.
We hear those words from the
person we love, it's always pleasing.
But words are empty until
they're backed up with some reasons.
Tried our best to fix things,
at least I know I did,
Counselor, long walks and talks,
but still the why you hid.
Coming back to that roomy
bright place became a chore
Perhaps you gave your all,
but I needed more.
It's what you couldn't say,
That would cause my love to die.
You always said "I want you,"
But you never told me why.
Leaned in and said some right words,
And I listened and I heard,
But the urge for leaving stirred,
When you never told me why.
Here's the simple reason,
You no longer are my guy.
You always said "I love you,"
But you never told me why.
Held me and spoke some right words,
And I listened and I heard,
But the urge for leaving stirred,
When you never, ever told me why.
Andy it kills me our love ended,
cross my heart and hope to die.
You said words that I loved hearing,
but you never told me why.
I sometimes wish we were still together,
cross my heart and hope to die.
You said the words that I so loved hearing,
but you never, ever told me why.
#16 YOUR FRIEND THE MOON
(Christmas)
All alone in your backyard,
After your party at night.
You look up and then see me,
In the clear sky, shining bright.
How can it be you're now eight!
Time rolls by with just a snap.
Oh the places you'll go, can't wait!
All round the globe, edge of the map.
Starting day one, I've been looking down,
That's me - sometimes skinny, sometimes round.
Pull the oceans while I carry a tune,
Happy Birthday, your friend the moon.
All alone on the warm beach,
Honeymoon night, bride's asleep.
You see my light does still reach,
And your company I keep.
She looks so lovely and kind,
You should acquaint her with me.
Dear friend, if you're so inclined,
When you both gaze out at the sea.
Know you chose well in choosing your wife,
A good feeling you'll have a great life.
Your wedding the envy of all June,
Congratulations, your friend the moon.
You love, she grows.
Oh I shine.
A girl, a boy.
And I shine.
They age, they leave.
Yet I shine.
She's ill, she fades.
Still I shine.
All alone in your still house,
This time of year makes you cry.
See me up there, to the south,
Shining bright and shining high.
I watch as I glow,
Your still house is still a home.
'Cause from the time we've shared I know,
Once love shines you're far from alone.
I shine on the harvest, and now on the snow,
Not a spot on your world I won't go.
Shone on that manger, bright as noon,
Merry Christmas, your friend the moon
You should leave that small pebble you're on,
Take comfort they'll miss you when you're gone.
But up here is a great view. Come soon!
Merry Christmas, your old friend the moon.
#15 DETECTIVE NOBODY HIRED
(Country)
Met late night drinkin' behind the mill,
Right from the get, you're perfect!
Good kisser, tall and listens? What a thrill,
Now we've dated three months, still perfect.
No problem? Bingo, there's the problem!
Can't find anything wrong, not a trace!
Put myself on the job then,
Only one who can solve this case.
Looking for clues, unsure of the crime,
Holding line-ups without any lines.
Taking statements 'til I'm just dog tired,
That's me: a detective nobody hired.
Trench coat and magnifying glass,
Checked socials, friended your old girls.
Hacked your work history, grades from class,
Investigated your whole world.
Same story each time -- "Just a great guy,"
You're amazing, all day long perfecting.
Gotta be at least one burp, flaw or lie,
No choice but to keep on detecting.
Where are the clues? Is there even a crime?
Holding line-ups without any lines.
Meeting witnesses 'til I'm past dog tired,
Life of a detective nobody hired.
You see loving you means learning your flaws,
Honey bear, don't fear me because:
My thinking's not so cynical,
That you not perfect means you're criminal.
Lots of hard work, unbilled hours,
Then caught you giving your eyebrows a tweeze.
Broke the case open -- your mood quickly soured,
Stopped spending all your time trying to please.
Smoking gun? You got mad at me and yelled,
Revealed at last, I annoy you so well!
Rudy, my moody cutie patootie...
Be REAL with me -- no ifs, ands or buts.
That's the evidence I need to be a little less nuts.
So I found the clues that prove we don't have a crime,
Dismissed the line-ups, pulled up the lines.
The Curious Case of Mister Perfect now expired,
And I'm retired, this goofy girl nobody hired.
Since you've seen I detect so darn well,
Tune in next week, same time, same channel.
'Nother crime that's not really there? No prob!
We'll put the detective back on the job.
#14 CLIMB EVERY FROG
(New Orleans Jazz-style Musical)
Today I got up, saw I've lived a long life.
A good one, with way more song than strife.
But now before it's all closed:
One thing from this world I'd cut out with a knife.
You're having some trouble, last nerve is fraying,
Visit a friend, hope they can weigh in.
With guidance, insight or advice,
But then all they say some stupid old saying.
Sayings aren't helpful, often times wrong,
My distaste for them is really quite strong.
So why not share a few that don't quite belong,
Some I might have misheard right here in this song.
You know what they say...
There's a night at the bend of the funnel... That's true.
Just put one foot in front of your mother... I do!
The greasy wheel gets the squeak... That sound's about right.
Leap before you cook... Now that advice is air-tight.
And how to get the most out of this life's hard slog?
Because it's the main act, we're well past the prologue
To find meaning as we march onward through the fog,
Try to kiss every mountain... and climb every frog.
Said this nonsense when given the chance,
No friend got the joke, or looked askance.
Scratch their chins, then they'd nod, offer thanks,
But all my sayings were just pranks.
So some actual wisdom I can now share,
It's not about the sayings: in fact, they're just air,
Simply words to demonstrate that,
We're listening, and we'll always care.
So you know what they say...
Perfect breaks practice...
Hey! That's excellent advice.
If you can't join them, eat them...
Now don't tell me twice.
The early worm gets deterred...
Well, who'd have thunk that?
Grass is always cleaner on the upper side... Fact!
And how to get the most out of this life's hard slog?
Because it's the main act, we're well past the prologue
To find meaning as we march onward through the fog,
Always kiss every mountain... and climb every frog.
Please let me say it one more time,
If you're not listening it's a crime,
Trust me this advice is sublime,
Go kiss every mountain... and climb every frog.
Oh, and did I mention?
Don't put all your legs in one casket.
#13 THE WATERFALL
(R&B / Gospel)
Most every night, for as
long as I remember,
I've dreamed I'm standing
by a giant river.
Past the tall grasses,
I cautiously enter,
The water's sharp and cold,
but I don't shiver.
Lean back, start floating
downstream, joined by others,
Sunlight sparkles, smell the
windswept sage and jasmine.
Water carries me, my sisters
and my brothers,
Looking downstream,
far off I see a chasm.
Banks narrow, and the
water's moving faster,
We're now flanked
by cliffs of alabaster.
Over the happy shouts
and heartfelt laughter,
Every one of us hears
a thunderous call,
Approaching deliverance
or disaster?
Around the bend, we can
behold the waterfall.
Speeding up, moved
forward with a purpose,
In all the faces, don't see
fear, only delight.
My arms gliding beneath
the water's surface,
Clouds dissipating, the sun
burning strong and bright.
River squeezed, starts to
churn and even rages,
I'm joined by countless,
young and old, large and small.
This journey still feels
like early stages,
But we are at the
edge of the waterfall.
The water carries, the water rolls,
The water soothes, the water cleans.
The water rushes, the water strolls,
The water muses, the water dreams.
It's clear my travels
are almost over,
Look around me, and draw
one final grateful breath.
Join the frozen moment,
no growing older,
Fall into the light, and
pass beyond my death.
From the still and silence
before anything,
To the time that might
happen after all.
Loves and hates that into
this world we bring,
Once and finally settled
in the waterfall.
All the parts of everyone
and everything,
Will be brought together
in the waterfall.
Together, together, together...
Together in the waterfall.
#12 I AIN'T SCARED
(Country)
First light, I came home from my job,
His car gone, our bed unslept.
Unsure whether to laugh or sob,
Had to choose, so I wept.
Forty years old, two kids, owe back rent,
Car's leaking oil, real bad brakes.
Husband's run off, ask what it meant:
Next check on my list of mistakes.
His note said "You can't find peace."
Stings to admit, but he was right.
Fear and stress gave no release,
Tense and restless, morning til night.
Looking around, connecting the dots,
Best part of my life gone and went.
But within those bad thoughts,
One thing now was different.
I'm still worried I won't ever learn,
Chase off the next man after a while.
I'm troubled and concerned,
Feelings piled up in a big ol' pile.
Fretful this girl can't be repaired,
I'm uneasy, even queasy.
But for reasons I don't understand,
I ain't scared. I ain't scared. I ain't scared.
Each day cooked and cleaned, kids to school,
Met with lawyers, laid out the facts
Called myself a jerk and fool,
Waited for fear to come back.
Now living through the worst,
Keep trying to do my best.
No time for brooding, kids come first,
But am I flunking this test?
Still troubled it's downhill from here,
My best times now behind.
Will things get worse, year by year?
Worries build up in my mind
Maybe my life's not meant to be shared?
I'm unsteady, don't feel ready.
But for reasons that make no sense,
I ain't scared. I ain't scared. I ain't scared.
I'm worried, somehow not afraid,
Between extremes getting swayed.
On one hand, it's all going to end,
Gonna break and not bend,
Alone without a good friend,
On the other, made it through worse.
Bad times will reverse.
This life more blessing than curse.
Worked it out, kids are his every weekend,
Days alone, now and then I have hope.
Broken parts of me will start to mend,
In the worst of times, I can still cope.
Don't know why my fear just left,
But with it gone, I might become.
Lucky girl forever blessed,
By her feelings save that one.
Love these days I'm without worry,
And those moments free from dread.
Other times more troubled as surely,
T'wards some strange future we head.
But I'm okay, catastrophes spared.
Strength awoken, truth now spoken.
By the grace of God, Mother Nature,
and pure dumb luck,
I ain't scared. I ain't scared. I ain't scared.
Life might be harder, I confess,
Less smooth sailing, sometimes a mess.
But I will always know with gratefulness,
I ain't scared.
#11 FIND MY WAY THERE
(Pop)
Spent some time in school,
Where I read a bunch of books.
Spent more time traveling,
All the roads I just took.
Shared space with lovely ladies,
But was always passing through.
Cities, countries, calms and storms.
Til I crossed paths with you.
Questions 'bout the big picture,
Have complicated answers.
As hard to read as scripture,
Learning what makes romance stir.
But when my life added in you,
It was no longer a puzzle.
I now knew what to do,
Ain't difficult or subtle.
When I'm alone right here,
My true path is clear.
I gotta learn your where,
And find my way there.
It's a simple fact,
Not going back.
I gotta learn your where,
And find my way there.
I gotta learn your where,
And find my way there.
The beach was empty, the stars were bright,
I first heard your laugh ring out.
Sudden magic in the night,
My life upended? Yeah, no doubt.
T'wards something you were moving.
Like me, had that wanderlust,
Your touch and taste then quickly proving,
Found an answer I could trust.
When I'm empty right here,
On the brink of a tear
I gotta mark your where,
And find my way there.
It's a simple fact,
Not going back.
I gotta mark your where,
And find my way there.
I gotta mark your where,
And find my way there.
Never found it in all those books,
Never found it in my travels.
But then you knew what it took,
Destination for my rambles.
That perfect time we spent together,
One day just shut and closed.
A change in wind, a change in weather,
Unexpected exit you chose.
Reasons that drove me are in tatters,
So now I chase your shadow.
You're the only thing that matters,
And forever I will follow.
When I'm broken right here,
End of it all is near.
I gotta know your where,
And find my way there.
It's a simple fact,
Not going back.
I gotta know your where,
And find my way there.
I gotta know your where,
And find my way there.
All that matters is your where,
And me finding my way there.
#10 TIME TO MOVE
(Pop)
Standing at the threshold,
Of what we might become.
You feel the music take hold,
Begin to hear that hum.
I know you have a yearning,
Observed as you have crept.
A dark and secret journey,
Begins with just a step.
I'm waiting for you, you're waiting for me,
We could align eventually.
For that event to soon occur,
In my direction you must stir.
It's time to move.
Walking by the doorways,
You glance at all the girls.
No need fall for clichès,
When something more unfurls.
Your desire always was there,
And now you can see.
Each step in the night air,
A step closer to me.
Moment passes you make the choice,
Urges build longing a voice.
Warm air on your skin you can feel,
Your steps on the pavement are real.
It's time to move.
Ambling down the alley,
You're moving ever on.
Towards a grand finale:
Old eras now bygone.
They say change is good,
Revealed in verse and letter.
They say do what you should,
Though I know something better.
Each step leads to another,
A secret you will discover.
An old English guy was known to say:
Bodies in motion tend to stay that way.
It's time to move.
Gliding through the forest,
Humming songs of love.
Joined by nature's chorus,
From below and above.
Towards me you're in motion,
Travel round the world.
To find a hidden potion,
This treasure map unfurled.
Time to crawl, time to creep.
Time to search, time to climb.
Time to march, time to stride.
Time to blaze, time to move.
Time to move, time to move.
Time to move.
Climbing up the mountain,
I'm waiting at the top.
Pleased you still continue,
Inch closer t'wards our stop.
Pleasure's almost dawning,
Shared feelings building strong.
I've always known your longing,
It's why I sing this song
I'm ready for you, you're ready for me,
We will align eventually.
What arises when we at last debut,
I can imagine, perhaps you will too.
It's time to move.
Time to move, time to move.
#09 TELL IT TO ME GENTLE
(Americana)
I think
I think
I think you're ready to leave me.
I can't
I can't
I can't believe it's now the end.
I beg
I beg
I beg you to reconsider.
I will
I will
I will find some way to mend.
So if you say that it's over
The reasons you'll assemble.
Speak your hard words and rough truths,
But please tell it to me gentle.
You see
You see
You see this man before you.
You are
You are
You are my reason to dance.
You should
You should
You should recall our best times.
You might
You might
You might give me one more chance.
You close down our future,
I'll try hard not to tremble.
You reveal your heart-hurt feelings,
Now just tell it to me gentle.
The years we've been together,
Whenever and wherever.
My stupid and your clever:
How can it not be forever?
I know
I know
I know I screwed up often.
I fear
I fear
I fear I'll get left behind.
I must
I must
I must still try to fix this.
I can
I can
I can pray that I will change your mind.
If our shared path's now ending,
I'm still yours and sentimental.
So say every way I failed you,
But please tell it to me gentle.
You know
You know
You know this man before you.
You give
You give
You give me reasons to dance.
You feel
You feel
You feel joy from all our great times.
You can
You can
You can gift me one more chance.
But if you decide on your own path, know
I'm always yours and sentimental.
Shout out every last way I failed you,
And please tell it to me gentle.
Then leave me here to have my everlasting lonely cry.
#08 MAMA NO LIKEY
(Country)
Writers block at the coffee shop,
my new book now less likely.
When a couple sits down next to me,
him bouncy, her bored.
He starts talking nonsense,
she’s smiling far too brightly.
This guy’s not near the worst,
but how she's acting struck a chord.
The girls living right take
the best care of themselves,
What they need, feel, and want
they don’t put up on shelves.
They’ll reach for those stars,
make life all that it might be,
And they're never afraid
to say “Mama no likey!”
So there was a girl who loved books,
and she worried quite rightly,
About being more sad than happy,
to her it was just clear.
The world didn't want some snappy thing,
who's less sweet and more spikey
So she swore to only look joyful
when in front of that mirror,
Thing about hiding?
It quickly becomes habit.
Your true self recedes
til you're unable to grab it.
Girl's all alone in her room,
afraid to burn brightly,
Didn't think she was allowed
to say “Mama no likey!”
You should have figured out by now,
the girl shared more than my psyche,
Of course it was me! I kept things
clamped down up through adulthood
Always smiling and concealing,
constant thinking "Please like me!"
A quick marriage — he left ‘cause
he knew I'd never feel good.
Crash a marriage? Then you soon
see things break open.
A different part of me finally awoken.
Sometimes I have bliss & joy
snuggled in so tightly,
And other times?
Nothing but “Mama no likey.”
I’ve slowly learned,
you're worthy of what you feel,
There's no gain in hiding
those dark moods under a cloak.
And no shame when anger
or sadness is real.
Have to let 'em run wild,
or you’re just gonna choke.
So here's to every sad girl
living far less than steady,
Used to hiding feelings so dark,
well then now please do get ready.
When the moment appears, be brave
and say the words that delight me:
Breathe in, then scream out
to the whole wide world… “MAMA NO LIKEY!”
And when you finally speak your truth,
if THEY don’t likey?
Well, they know right where they can go!
#07 NEXT TO WATER
(Americana)
Always doubted first-sight love as a child.
They'd say "You'll see!" I just smiled,
One bone-cold night at the corner store,
Brush of hands when we reached the door.
Felt a spark, icy air burned my throat,
Deadweight feeling all at once afloat.
No need to study or analyze,
I looked straight into Cora's eyes.
Saw my life then right before me,
With a wife, two sons, a daughter.
In a house that’s warm and weathered,
Some place quiet, next to water.
The kids, the house - it all came true,
Laughter dancing up our chimney flue.
Good times lingered, hard times passed,
Working my dream, sure it would last.
Discontent crept in, smooth and cunning,
Miss that shadow when you're always running.
Kept the hearth clean, failed to tend the fire,
I'd say "All's perfect!" Was a liar.
Words grew sharp and nights grew longer,
Stupid me, I stayed and fought her.
In a house with strife and turmoil,
Some place broken, next to water.
One day, Cora ran out of linger,
Took off that ring I'd placed on her finger.
Kids long gone, paths all their own,
Life of belonging, back to alone.
Nothing but time, tried taking stock,
Brown liquor, orange sunset on the dock.
Wind on the lake ripples, sounding a sigh,
I ask "What happened?" No reply.
All we'd built turned cold and broken,
To the wreckage now I'd brought her.
In a house that’s still and silent,
Some place empty, next to water.
Stumbling on, only choice,
Years rolled by, then hearing a voice.
Calling me back, where the dreams faded,
Pale ruin, doors broken, garden wasted.
Walked the old path, stood by the shoreline,
Thought about it all one more time.
Cora, my kids, the life I lost,
What love's worth, and what it cost.
Only strength that this life taught me:
Own mistakes and do not falter.
For a moment now I'll rest here,
Some place quiet, next to water.
#06 JANA JUST
(Country)
Jana brushed my hair each morning,
Packed my lunch and sent me out.
Said the world will punish yearning,
“Guard your heart, ignore your doubts.”
She gave her light to all who asked,
Spread her love throughout the day.
Others first, herself dead last,
And then Jana just lost her way.
Silas showed up, charm and denim,
Whiskey grin, a touch of fire.
Eyes and smile would hide his venom,
His menace, his barbed wire.
She thought he needed love to change,
And love would heal where kindness strayed.
Hearts can only take so much pain,
And then Jana just slipped away.
She quit her job, she quit her laughter,
She rarely made her way 'cross town.
Her look in any day thereafter:
At worst in tears, at best a frown.
She used to shine like morning rise,
Now shadows stole her every day.
Spinning downward despite her tries,
And then Jana just couldn't stay.
Early one morning she came to meet me,
Headlights cutting through the rain.
Said, “He found out, tried to beat me…
But he won’t again.”
I asked her what she meant by that,
Her eyes looked far, her voice astray.
She kissed my hair beneath my hat,
And then Jana just wouldn’t say.
Pulled me close and hugged me tightly ,
Whispered, “I'm more than my mistakes.”
Turned the key, headlights glowing brightly,
Right there I learned how a heart breaks.
She said, “Baby, don’t you dare cry for me,
I’ll find my home on a brighter day.”
She waved once in the cool of the morning breeze,
And then Jana just drove away.
She waved once in the cool of the morning breeze,
And then Jana just drove away.
#05 WARM NOVEMBER
(Country)
I carry this story way deep in my heart,
Its burden still dragging me down.
The place and the moment a life came apart,
Then misery truly unbound.
Of the full tale, I am merely a chapter,
The details I can but just lend.
To begin with the one thing that most matters ,
No choice but to start at the end.
At the edge of that quarry, so still and large,
Her fists tightly trembling, her mouth dry and parched.
There stands Annie Dalton, and she remembers,
When her life shattered: clear day, warm November.
A trip with her daddy where limestone cliffs shine,
Her hand in his, they walked the ridge.
His words strong and gentle, his voice soft and kind,
“Be careful, stay away from the edge.”
She slipped on the gravel, he reached out too fast,
A shout, then the splash far below.
She knelt at the rim as the sunlight slowly passed,
And waited, knowing not where to go.
Alone atop that quarry, still warm with day’s light,
The birds turned to shadows, the sky fading bright.
There cried Annie Dalton, her eyes fixed and wide,
Till stars found the place where the sun goes to hide.
Her mama kept saying, “It wasn’t your fault,”
But her eyes told a sorrow concealed.
Mama smiled through the grieving, the silence grew fraught,
And grief made her heart finally yield.
So Annie kept running from what she had formed:
A family destroyed and betrayed.
With men that she clung to, her heart never warmed,
Each promise a price she then paid.
The years and the taverns, the night and the din,
A search for forgiveness in bottles and men.
There sits Annie Dalton, her heart worn and marked,
Still visiting that day where her spirit went dark.
We met one warm night when the jukebox was loud,
Her laughter cut straight through the gloom.
She moved like a promise, defiant and proud,
And lit up the smoke in that room.
I swore I could mend her, I needed that lie,
A sculptor with marble to carve.
But love built on saving will try to deny,
That trapped soul determined to starve.
So fights and then shouting, the drink and the pain,
Two hearts built for fire left out in the rain.
There fell Annie Dalton, her light fading fast,
And I’m left to answer for love that don't last.
She followed him down into unending quiet,
My wish she found peace? No choice but to buy it.
Let's hope all our lives' paths are more tender,
And miles from that clear day, warm November.
#04 ONE MORE SONG
(Country)
You’re standin’ by the doorway,
hands clenched tight,
Coffee’s long gone,
and so’s the light.
You’re sayin’ words
like "no" and “done”
Chance of our future's
less than "none."
You tell me I’m a dream
you can’t afford,
I know it's a dream
you won't explore.
And before you close
that door tonight,
Let me try to make it right.
Now Jane before you end it,
let me sing you one more song,
It’s soft like June's first morning light,
and not a note is wrong.
I’ll paint our love in colors bright,
And let them glow into the night,
Give me thirty years together
and I’m sure to get it right.
I’ll write about your Sunday smile,
Those lazy mornings
where we take a while.
The way you laugh
when nothin’s funny,
The way your eyes
turn dark to sunny.
You think I’m lost,
I think I’m found,
Embraced between
your sight and sound.
And if you’ll join
me in this bet,
I’ll prove our tune
ain’t done just yet.
Now Jane before you end it,
let me sing you one more song,
It’s soft like June's first morning light,
and every word belongs.
Just listen, let your
heart take flight ,
And chase your
doubts into the night,
Give us thirty years together
and I’m sure to get it right.
Maybe we’re too young to know,
What forever really means.
But the best songs bloom slow,
From those gaps and in-betweens.
Someday I'll hum it, gray and thin,
Old guitar and wrinkled skin.
You’ll laugh and say, “You took your time,”
I’ll smile and say, “We found the rhyme.”
You know this love’s a melody,
And it starts and ends with “we.”
Now Jane before you end it,
let me sing this lifelong song,
Rings out with every turning dawn,
still steady, clear, and strong.
We danced through
storms and held on tight,
Still sing our tune
beneath porch light.
Took us thirty years together
but we finally got it right.
#03 ALL THE THINGS I WON'T BE DOING NOW
(1980's Pop)
I bought that dress you said you loved,
Still hanging there, unworn above
My last letter that you never read,
The words I wish I’d just said.
We had a trip booked for Japan,
At least that was the plan
Now someone else is holding you,
And I’m just sadly counting through...
All the things I won’t be doing now,
No dancing slowly, no shared vow.
No whispered plans beneath the stars,
No Sunday drives in your old car.
You took every dream we dreamed somehow,
All the things I won’t be doing now.
I see your coat still by the door,
Why can't I throw it on the floor?
The tears fall soft, the clock ticks loud,
The silence hovers like a cloud.
Your song still plays inside my head,
That line you loved, now fills with dread.
There's pain in every photograph,
To banish tears I try to laugh
At all the things I won’t be doing now,
Delights my fate will not allow.
No quiet talks in sunlit rooms,
No spring that ever truly blooms.
Now sorrow reigns, and empty time abounds,
With all the things I won’t be doing now.
All the texts I won’t send,
All the nights that never end.
All the words that won’t come true,
All because I trusted you.
So all the things I won’t be doing now,
As I drop smiles and pick up frowns.
No final kiss, no sweet goodbye,
Cry all the tears I no longer deny.
You have her love, and I’ll get through somehow,
All the things I won’t be doing now.
You have her love, and I’ll get through somehow,
All the endless things I won’t be doing now.
#02 THE GHOST YOU LEFT BEHIND
(1980's Pop)
I walk the streets where we once shined,
A shadow fraught with care.
The crowd moves through me, as if blind,
Because love, you’re not there.
The lights go on, the night awakes,
I slowly start to learn the stakes.
I call your name, don't hear a sound,
The still and silence cloud my mind.
You took the warmth, my life unbound,
Made me the ghost you left behind.
Each memory burns now we're apart,
Your echo still remains.
Love was the fire that lit my heart,
Still carry heartfelt pains.
Our past replays in fractured light,
And every spark recalls that night.
I reach through time, your heart’s not there,
Your kiss yet echoes in my mind.
And then at once become aware,
I'm still the ghost you left behind.
I fade in daylight, I vanish in the crowd,
I scream your name, but I can’t make a sound.
I see your face in every light,
But there’s no doorway back in time.
Now I’m condemned to walk the night,
Always the ghost you left behind.
#01 OVER THE DARKNESS
(Americana)
Today broke light, for once in a while
You tried to laugh, I dared to smile.
Said you'd return when the daylight fell,
The night came early, now I know too well.
One part passing, and one part fail.
I’m over the darkness, under the pale.
Over the darkness, under the pale,
Hopeful wind rising, then despair sets sail.
So tired of fighting, no more tooth or nail,
I'm over the darkness, under the pale.
That face in the mirror, it's always there,
Reveals more a curse and less a prayer.
I can't remain, won't pack up and leave.
One moment rejoice, the next one grieve.
The stars look cold, the moon looks frail.
I’m over the darkness, under the pale.
Over the darkness, under the pale,
Life leans t'ward better, but to no avail.
Every road I take just turns to shale,
I’m over the darkness, under the pale.
If mercy’s comin’, she’s takin’ her time,
I’m waitin’ here on the fault line.
Between spring's zephyr and winter's gale,
I'm over the darkness, under the pale.
Over the darkness, under the pale,
Keep braiding my real life with fairy tales.
Starts still and joyful, ends keen and wail,
I’m over the darkness...
Mmm… over the darkness…
Under the pale.