#130 LAST BUS TO MAYBEVILLE
#130 LAST BUS TO MAYBEVILLE
(Americana)
This bench is old, the seat is hard,
Her picture on my cracked phone screen.
Cold wind flaps my jacket sleeves,
2 AM bus stop, dark and lonely.
Joined by two strangers after a while,
Old woman, young man -- they don't speak or smile.
After twenty minutes, woman clears her throat,
Says "I hear when you change decides how long you stay."
And your uncertain gets woven sturdy handles,
"But who cares? I can't take this even one more day."
Her dark eyes are dull -- won't look right at me,
Explains her daughter's not getting better or worse.
Says "They say cancer means living with not knowing,"
"I'm not strong enough to carry that curse."
"I can't go on" feeling rises to the top,
So you join the others done with standing still.
Finally do the work to find the stop,
After all the times we say we will.
And take the last bus to Maybeville.
Old woman leans back, closed eyes -- young man speaks up,
Says in Maybeville you let go of "decide,"
Carry the weight of no answers in a town where,
"Yes" and "No" not welcome, nothing's cut and dried.
His eyes drip tears as he tells his tale:
Brother's on pills -- slowly killing himself, doesn't care.
He says "Whatever happens in that town will help,"
"Be steady for him, after I return from there."
"What can I do?" feeling rises to the top,
Choose to join the others done with standing still.
Finally do the work to find the stop,
After all the times we say we will.
And take the last bus to Maybeville.
Months since I punched that wall
-- stopped drinking, worked amends,
But she's uncertain, still talking to her friends.
Can't live without knowing -- the "not quites" and mights,
Doubt greys my days and regret stings my nights.
I've ended up here, afraid we can't get back to "us,"
Three long faces, steaming breaths, waiting for the bus.
"How can I bear this?" feeling rises to the top,
Must join the others done with standing still.
Finally do the work to find the stop,
After all the times we say we will.
And take the last bus to Maybeville.
3 AM, giant of a man joins us at the stop,
Despite his size, reveals he can't bear uncertain's weight.
I say no bus means we're nowhere -- he's not too worried,
He says "I hear you'll also learn how to wait."
Bus to Maybeville shows up when you need it,
Word is be patient -- it always runs late.