#44 MY NAME IS HOPE
#44 MY NAME IS HOPE
(Americana)
My mother said my name was a gift.
A light within that never goes out.
When she got sick, felt my feelings shift
I know she didn’t mean to lie.
I left the word at age nine because,
My name only brought pain when she died.
Lies when it tells you climb the mountain,
Deceives, saying wish in that fountain
Beware when it says open the gate,
My name is Hope, and my name I hate.
To be fair, didn't hate it at first.
But belief in it just did nothing,
As my life raced from bad to worst.
Pa's broken heart stopped six years after.
Me and my sister June's childhoods were
Lived in slight love, even less laughter.
No good guys above, bad guys below
Unicorns, moonbeams or rainbows.
Trudge countless miles, have to get tough.
My name is Hope, what's real is enough.
Kept living, never dropped to a knee.
Moving forward, me and my sister
Times I carried June, times she carried me.
Then in my journey, one day more pain.
As I trudged forward, June turned aside.
Stepped off High Bridge same month as her name
Had lovers that left, dear friends that lied
Never the right map, never the right guide.
No warning whistle, no coal canary,
My name is Hope, pain I can carry.
Today the mirror told me what it's showing.
I am the girl who will always keep going.
Seems that most need a promise, a better
Bright star to follow in verse or in letter.
Belief in their destiny, some perfect note,
My name is Hope, I won't and I don't.
Legs worn from the trudge, I still smile and rest
But I will never -- my name -- for the best.
Life's a hard path, not a soft floating stream.
My name is Hope, just a name, not a dream.
Just a name, not a dream.