#117 DETECTIVE NOBODY HIRED
#117 DETECTIVE NOBODY HIRED
(Americana)
(DEMO)
(Full Arrangement)
This case was a challenge from the start,
Saw you first, Ted's bonfire by the river.
Clear night, late October, cold north wind,
One long look -- not the air that made me shiver.
Now three months dating, and you're too perfect.
Can't find anything wrong, not a trace!
Time for trench coat and magnifying glass,
Clearly, I'm the only one who can solve this case.
Looking for clues, unsure of the crime,
Detailed case notes, but can't bill for my time.
Passion and purpose -- the first thing required,
When you're a detective nobody hired.
Met your whole family at the holidays,
All those pictures of your perfect smiling face.
Aunt Beulah simply never lost at bingo,
Something sketchy there -- but not my case.
Half your hometown tells me "You're so lucky!"
Pinning up all the evidence, linked by red threads.
Using the stuff mom got me for scrapbooking,
Gotta crack this case solo -- can't call in the feds.
Where are the clues? Is there even a crime?
Nightly gin and tonic -- extra squeeze of lime.
Some drinking and some thinking also required,
Life of a detective nobody hired.
Taking surveillance pics of you late at work,
Drop my head to my steering wheel -- feel like a jerk.
If I could just find something -- one hair out of place,
I could love you without worry, close the case.
One day you stubbed your toe on my hidden case board,
Then pulled it out quickly from under my bed.
Pic of your office, and two of your baby pics,
With scribbled question marks, all connected by red threads
Your eyes got wide, and mine even wider,
I started smiling when you let loose a yell.
Loud shouting until you calmed down and hugged me,
You still love me after I annoy you so well!
Found plenty of clues, none proved a crime,
Rolled up the red threads, tossed out the limes.
I was the lead detective -- recently retired,
This goofy girl who loves you, but nobody hired.